Rites & Rituals

Alternative wakes, funerals, ‘living’ wakes, ceremonies, memorials & personal rituals

Grief Rituals & Ceremonies

When thinking about ritual in connection with grief you might immediately think of funerals and wakes, which are the time-honoured way to say our goodbyes. But did you know that rituals can also be quiet moments designed for an ‘audience’ of only one other person (or no-one else at all)?

Whether you are looking for funeral ideas or something on a smaller scale, I can help you create simple, personal and imaginative rites & rituals to authentically honour your relationship with a person who has died (or any other thing you have lost), in all its complexity. 

See more thoughts on ritual and ceremony here.

Or read on for more about the services I can provide.

Support with alternative wakes & funerals

When someone dies, we often immediately assume that a service in a crematorium or church are the only options available. However as long as the body is buried or cremated, it is possible to be very flexible about all the other details. Many people find it meaningful to look to the ‘old ways’ of doing things, and return to something less formal. That might look like exploring a burial at a local woodland, and holding the ceremony at the graveside. Making the coffin into an art piece for everyone to contribute to. Using the person’s trusty old truck as the hearse. 

If you are looking to co-create a DIY / alternative wake or funeral for yourself (future planning) or a loved one, and aren’t sure where to start then please do reach out. Depending on availability/suitability, I may not always be able to organise your ceremony - but I am passionate about a more authentic and community-based approach to funerals, so if I can help with ideas and signpost you to more sources of help then I will.

I can support with:

  • Tips if you decide not to use a funeral director

  • Writing eulogies 

  • Community co-creations involving everyone’s voices (including children)

  • Creative, personal ideas (arts background comes in useful here)

  • Decoration of the space

  • The ‘shape’ & flow of the ceremony 

  • Communicating about the event - e.g. designing flyers/messages to get the details out to friends & family

  • Helping to plan ‘Living Wakes’ for people wishing to experience their own send-off before they die.

I will always take the time to get to know the person at the heart of the ceremony, and help weave different perspectives together so that their story is told in a way that genuinely reflects their values and life.

I can work with you to think about organising people & logistics for the whole ceremony, or help to create just one part or special moment. Perhaps we will talk over tea, or hold an informal event prior to gather stories & songs. We’ll begin with a meeting of key people, and work out the practical details together from there.

Small rituals

A simple ritual, honouring or acknowledging a person or experience (or ourselves), can aid with letting go or stepping into a new beginning.

This might look like speaking names, qualities, or love aloud, as we cast stones into a river - or planting a flower or tree in a special spot. Writing letters to past/future selves, or leaving offerings for people who are no longer here.

All of my work is secular & non-religious, inspired by the elements and nature. If you are struggling to know how to mark an anniversary or say goodbye to a family home once it’s been cleared, I can work with you on a bespoke & nourishing ritual that feels ‘right’ for you and for the moment.

"The way you managed and conducted the proceedings really impressed me. Not an easy thing to do; your self control is remarkable and yet you showed such sensitivity."

- Andy, Funeral attendee

(see more testimonials here.)